It. Is. OVER!!

And the verdict is....I PASSED...and am done!! Woohoo.

The actual defense went fine. Hardly any insane people to ask inane questions were there, so it actually wasn't as horrid as I imagined.

Whew...i need a LOT of sleep now...5 years is a lot of time to make up for ;-)

Funny people

People are bizarre. According to one of the most...ahem...goofy ones I know...apparently I am "Quirky, with a strong personality". Yes, i am a bit quirky...but apparently a "Get-it-done" sort of personality translates into a "strong personality"...whatever that means...

I'm still alive. I defend on Thursday and have oscillated between doing "OK" and wanting to puke all week. I attempted to run today and ran two miles...turned around and walked back home two miles. Could not put together the mental whathaveyou to run. Weird. Running is stressing me out on top of being way stressed out...therefore...not working for me. This weirdness better stop after Thursday.

My housemates are planning a going away party...and one suggested the theme to be "my personal psychosis's". It might involve triathlons, aliens, singing about food, dancing about plastic, singing about plastic, sports movie themes and I'm sure other weird things. OK when you put my psychosis just out there...i can see where 'quirky' comes from. :-)

Oh...but GUESS what!!...we are going to have a 'triathlon of sorts' at the party...i'm excited.

Still happy(even with the nerves)...i like the new paradigm.

IT.IS.IN...!!!

Yes, that is right folks the drama...the pain...the insanity...of graduate school is starting to wrap up.
The book (aka the stupid dissertation) has been turned in to my committee. I have less than a week until the public 'flogging' as I like to call it...or my public 'defense'...WHATEVER. People get to publicly be mean to me...that sounds like lots of fun. But it means that i am done! (except corrections for stupid dissertation)...so that's worth something too.

I am exhausted, but can't seem to sleep. Yesterday I even made it out to Boston to a friend up who was up for a conference and stay with some other friends...it was exactly what I needed. I needed to just turn the stupid thing in...and GET OUT and be gone...and while I was barely functioning it was worth it. Over the past five years people have asked me "Do you want to...(insert fun things to do)"...and I have had to reply "yes...i want to...but I cannot (because research is eating my brain out)". Last week I had people inviting me all over the place...and no fun was had by me. So yesterday, even in my utter exhaustion...driving almost 2 hours to go hang out with friends one last time before it became a lot longer of a trip to see any of them was...divine.

I think the best part was waking up this morning...and discovering a new outlook. I woke up...happy. I've been 'happy' about things during my past 5 years, but it's been awhile since happy was an actual constant emotion to just be happy. No reason needed. I know that might sound somewhat overly dramatic, but let's just put it lightly...it hasn't been fun. But somehow...the end is very, very near.

And as the end nears, i am reminded that I had 4 triathlon training goals from last year. My number 1 goal:

1)To graduate. Preferably in Aug, but if not by Aug, then DEFINITELY by Dec.

The amazing thing is that in order to achieve this goal I now have come to realize that what was actually necessary for this goal to be achieved was a whole lotta luck in the lab....and an adviser on my side. If those two are not on an experimental scientist's side 'forgettabout it'. Fortunately, once the opportunity of a job took form in Feb...my adviser practically shoved me out the door right at the same time of experiments actually working. It was a miracle and I am thankful.

The fact I did not come close to actually accomplishing any of the other 3...only proves that I am not a multitasker (and actually...studies have shown that most people are not multiaskers even if they think they are)


Now...i think I need a nap. :-)

Tagged

I am...err...supposed to be doing something else...but i need a break :-) (Yes dissertation turn in is TOMORROW...but i'm losing my mind...so here is fun break)

Paul tagged me...so here goes

Job's I've Held:

Quizno's amazing sign holder
Dorky Scientist I: (cardio toxicity of chemotherapeutic drugs)
Supah Doopah inventor of fly fishing accessories
Clerk for a mortgage company
Dorky Scientist II: (research into how to make cardboard boxes more recyclable)
Crazy Grad Student
Instigator of Science insanity with K-12 kids

Movies I can Watch Over & Over:

X-Men...all of them
Miracle
Sweet Home Alabama
The Wedding Singer
Rudy
The Bourne Identity

Guilty Pleasures:

Chocolate (Dark)
Coffee
Ice Cream
Did I say Chocolate?


Places I Have Lived:

Idaho
Washington
England
New Zealand
Massachusetts
And Soon...California (less than 3 weeks!)

Shows I Enjoy:

X-files
Grey's Anatomy
Discovery Channel

Vacation Spots:
(is this favorite places i've been?)
Thailand
Czech Republic
Ireland
Mountains of Idaho...or any part of the Rockies
New Zealand

Favorite Foods:

Sushi
Pad Thai
Vientamese

Websites I Visit Daily:

Bloglines.com
gmail
news


Body Parts I have Injured:

Knee and ankle (ultimate frisbee accident)

IT bands issues

Awards I've Won:

hmmm...scholarships for violin, academics...

Nicknames I've Been Called:

other than my name shortened? none

ohhh, i'm supposed to tag a buncha people...but i'm too tired to think :-) (Motto of the week: Sleep is for sissies)

So i'll tag just one: Nistrik

Just when you thought...

Just when you thought...people couldn't get ruder, more insane or well...more delusional...they prove you wrong.

I tend to believe in the best in people...I never thought that trait could be such a detriment ...and then I came to graduate school...

Thursday is dissertation turn in!

And 10 days til defense.

totally in a cold sweat now

essential

What I like about having a goal and training for it is that a workout on a schedule goes from something that I should do...or I need to get done...to something that is essential. It becomes a non-negotiable. I know what needs to be done in order to achieve a goal. I understand there is no 'cramming' when it comes to endurance sports. And then my training becomes something that must be done in order to achieve what I want to do and in a way becomes ingrained into me...and must become a part of my comings and goings because I think about it a lot and schedule it and dream about it. And then the training starts to become essential to me. Unfortunately it is too easy to be sidelined from these things and somehow I lose how essential it is to me...and I easily forget how much a part of me it is.

Got in some more runs this week, they weren't supposed to be anything spectacular...main focus is my endurance baseline on those ones. But they were good.

Few things I've noticed is that whenever I start a training program that first week...my goodness EVERY freaking bit of me that has ever had an injury thinks that it has some say in what I do. Sheesh. Stretching and evaluating has ensued...but i also know this always happens the first week of training. It'll pass.

keep on keeping on

tempo run of sorts

So i've sorted out my 1/2 mary schedule for my Oct race and have put together a marathon training schedule of sorts for a Jan marathon.

I had planned to have a 4 mile tempo run today with a mile warm up and a mile cool down. Well massive side stitch at mile 4 along with insane humidity sorta hampered the training...but it's early in the training cycle...and i've got tons of time to get stronger.

So the stats(although I erased them off the watch...so from memory):

Mile time Avg Hr
1 11:11 145
2 9:18 165
3 9:18 170
4 11:xx 153
5 9:48 170
6 cool down...run...walk...couldn't get my heart rate down as it was so humid out.


What's cool is that in a few weeks time...i am certain I will see improvement with consistency. I was being a little hard on myself today because I didn't finish all 4 miles the way I had wanted to at LT...but then I realized...it doesn't really matter. I split two evenly...and have room for improvement on the other two. Big deal. Training is cool in that if you apply consistency to your program you WILL improve. My goal over the next few weeks is to be able to do all 4 parts of the tempo part...evenly...and then work towards negatively splitting the last two...someday. That day doesn't have to be soon its just what I hope strive towards: To be stronger as I finish a run and not fade at the end. That comes with consistency...that comes with practice and repetition.

As my (very Italian) violin teacher in college said in a heavy accent: repetition, repetition, repetition.

It will happen with consistency and repetition. I know it will.

and a runn'n

So curiosity got the better of me today. My training has been 'meeh' this summer with attention diverted elsewhere, and so i haven't been really that clued into my running. I'd been noticing my running was alright. I've been pretty chill about paces this summer, it's not my focus. Recently I've been seeing my long runs (of 6 miles) times drop between the 10-11 mpm pace. So I was curious how my cardio was holding and what I can just 'see' from how the 'engine' (aka...base endurance) is doing compared to the actual speed as speed will increase as endurance gets better (to a point) and then speed work needs to come into play. There is an interplay between endurance base and pushing the speed work.

I digress...anywho...basically the goal: 6 mile run, first mile warm up, next mile 150bpm, next mile 155 bpm, next mile 160bpm, next mile 165 bpm, next mile as fast as can I felt like dealing with...and a cool down.

It broke down like this
mile avg HR time
1 147 11:53
2 154 11:07
3 160 10:28
4 165 10:05
5 176 8:36
6 was more of a walk-run-walk for 13:50


I think this a great place to start from as I prep for a fall 1/2 marathon...and a winter marathon. I'm rather pleased considering everything that's going on.

And...i should add...it was WICKED hot...90 degrees...lots of humidity...shoulda run in the morning.

Got some choices...

So...i'm sorting out my choices for running and all that good stuff.

I do know this: in October I will be running the Long Beach 1/2 marathon

But as far as a marathon...the choices the choices. Thanks for all of you weighing in on the marathon debate...all comments even the cheeky ones are welcome (maybe ;-) )

I think i've tentatively decided on a winter marathon.
Anyway...here are the possibilities. Please feel free to weigh in if you have done any of them, or are familiar with any of them.

OC Marathon 01/06/08

Redding Marathon 1/13/08

PF Chang's Rock n Roll Arizona 1/13/08

Habitat for Humanity Diamond Valley Lake Challenge 1/19/08

Carlsbad Marathon 1/20/08

Surf City Marathon 2/3/08

LA Marathon 3/2/08 But...as No wetsuit girl pointed out in my earlier post this may be not advised by the surgeon general's warning...and it looks like you run right though a concrete jungle...not really my choice.

In the process of putting together a schedule for a race in roughly 24 weeks...

The debate within…

Lately I’ve been reminded that as far as an being an athlete…I am a triathlete. Not a swimmer or a cyclist or a runner…although I do have some tendencies to have a running ‘problem’ at times. But rather, I’d prefer to focus on doing multi-sport stuff with the end goal of a tri than be focused solely all the time on one sport and ‘cross train’ with other sports. I forget this sometimes…let me try to explain. If I’m debating about non tri races during triathlon season I have to stop and think really hard about it. I was contemplating running a marathon next june as there will be one basically in my back yard after I move. But the more I thought about doing that marathon…the more I started to be annoyed that it might screw with my tri season since it is at the beginning of June. The build...the taper...the recovery.

Granted the tri season in S. Cali is longer than up here in Massachusetts, but I didn’t really want my training focus during all those good daylight savings hours focused on an A race that wasn’t a triathlon AND it was during tri season. So I’m starting to contemplate a marathon that is in 6 months from now…the one I’m debating would be 3 months after my ½ marathon in October…

The whole debate makes me laugh because I know people give me funny looks when I say i'm thinking about doing a marathon...much less me saying that the reason I wouldn't do a specific one didn't have to do with it being a marathon...but that it interfered with my tri season next year. I think i'm just looking forward to having an actual tri season next year, THAT's what i'm looking forward to.

On other notes...sadly boredom of the dissertation has set in. I tend to get bored after awhile when I'm writing. I have my main things said...now i don't want to go back and re-write every little thing. It makes me want to SCREAM. Whew...that's out now. We can now move on.

And...another tri

WoooHooo...i got a SECOND tri in for the season. Wow...i may still be a triathlete :-) A rather late in the game decision on my part (as in wedensday), but i decided that since I had finished a sprint two weeks ago and have gotten my running times up to at least an hour these days...I knew i wouldn't be scraped off the pavement at the end of the day, so I was in.

But what is a race without a little drama for me? I am not certain if I am capable of NOT having drama the day before a race. Last tri...it was a double flat tire issue...Hartford in the fall...it was drama in general. I have come to accept that bad pre-race issues can yield good race day karma...at least that is what I tell myself. That's how it rolls sometimes...This time the drama involved climbing through a window and falling in/on the window ledge and BRUISING the crap out of my legs is part of my pre-race drama, oh and being locked out...HEY, that's how it goes, right? At least I have some fun looking injuries on my legs. Yeish.

So fortunately this race was MUCH closer than two weeks ago, there fore it did not necessitate a 4am wake up and amazingly I get into bed so early that I almost get 7 hours of sleep. What is going on with me? Stranger things have happened, but lately things are a bit odd. Although I am greeted this morning with an UNHAPPY stomach that makes me start to question this whole endeavor (as I can barely get 200 calories in without feeling like i'm going to retch) I attempt to convince myself on the way to the race that I can eat more...um...notsomuch. Anyway, by the time I get to the race site, I'm feeling a little better.

Find my way to the race and apparently this one is advertised as a 'diamond in the rough' as it is it's first year. If they had said nothing about it being it's first year, one would never have known. It was tightly organized, the transition area was awesomely set up. Tons of room. It was great.

I get set up and saw JB the smaller and JB the taller who are doing the Oly and D who is also doing the sprint and meet up with them prior to the race chat a bit. We discover in the pre-race meeting that the OLY bike is now the same distance as the sprint. They 'claim' that both are 15 miles...but it didn't seem so much like that. JB the smaller thinks it was 13.5...me...uh...well...i think I finally realized my bike wasn't zeroed out until about mile 1...so i have no idea. But I can tell you one thing...the fact that I have NOT been biking, much less riding hills... showed.

The swim was fine, 0.5 mile, although at one point I realized I was having trouble breathing and reasoned that I could either take bigger breathes or slow down that might help. Got my breathing under control. Time 17:02...about the same as the last sprint two weeks ago.


The bike, it was an out and back course. The out...up, up, up...the back...a lot of down...but still amazingly some uphill too. Sadly due to the lack of time in the saddle and the fact I haven't been climbing much, my avg speed came in around 15.1mph. Meeh...not great, but whatever. I enjoyed it.

The run...came and went. There were no mile markers, just the turn around for the sprint's 3.1 miles...so I clicked my watch at the turn around 14:26, I thought I wanted to negatively split the run, but I think I lost track of my brain on the run too. Second split came in slower, 14:32.

Total time by my watch 1:43:xx...although I forgot to hit stop after I crossed the finish line so that may account also for the non-negative split on the second half.

Overall, enjoyable day spent with friends and meeting a few new faces too. Glad I was talked into the whole fiasco even after I convinced myself that there was a 10% grade on a hill...(notsomuch...but hey, it would have made a great story right?...nah...good stories are over rated)...

So at least I get to sport some insane bruises...too bad they are from my window sill and not from something more 'exciting' like a tri. But i wouldn't be me...if it had happened anyway else.

Angry Rain

I love this word:
whinge

intr.v. whinged, whing·ing, whing·es Chiefly British

To complain or protest, especially in an annoying or persistent manner.

Americans don't use this word very much, (as it is chiefly british...see above)...but those that speak English and not American (as i've been corrected on many a time when I lived abroad...I speak 'American' or as some English speakers used to 'take the micky' and just say that i spoke 'Mer-y-CAN') Anyway, the american term that many use is whine. Yet whining is actually a little different than whinging, but anyway...that's not the point. The point is this morning I WAS WHINGING and I was annoyed with it.

Ever get that way? Where your own whinging is so annoying to you that you can't stand it? Maybe i'm the only one who ever whinges and admits it...but anyway...it was what it was.

The lightening and thunder woke me up along with the water pouring into my window because it was raining so hard and the gutters stopped working properly on the roof. Nice. I thought 'This is good...i can get a lot of work done today and tomorrow is my tri! Great...awesome". I get up, fix some breakfast and then the whinging begins. It was a weird battle this morning as it raged on (and I apologize to anyone who got in the middle of my whinging and ranting) because it became surreal at one point and I finally realized I was angry at the rain. At the rain??

I generally have two conversations with myself going on at any given time...no...those voices in my head are not talking back...no split personality (i don't think :-) ) Just the general back and forth a person goes through between the innerself and the ...hmmm i'll call it the rational/logical self.

But at one point...I had to have it out...all I could think to myself was "You are mad at the rain?? You have no control over that...and you are mad at the rain. Nice one there" And sometimes I have to talk myself through the stupidity of what is going on inside my head. Here's the conversation:

Innerself (IS): rain...bla...bla...
Logical self (LS): What is your problem??
IS: the stupid rain
LS: Stupid rain? What are you going to melt? You've done a duathlon in the pouring rain in April in Massachusetts, freezing your tights off where you thought you were going to be swept away by the flooding water and at one point were more worried that you would see Noah and his Ark floating down the road as you tried to ride your bike up it.
IS: (more whinging about the rain)
LS: And You did your first 1/2 marathon in situations that would have more been like a 1/2 marathon swim than an actual run. You've done triathlons in the rain to the point where you were afraid that your breaks wouldn't work properly and you are going to cry a river over some rain? Gimme a break. Really....what is your problem?


And then...breakthrough I suddenly figured out what in life was bothering me, yet I was taking it out on stupid things...I wasn't angry at the rain...I was frustrated with what was happening with my dissertation and my lack of an adviser who spends all of his time with students who aren't even going to graduate soon...and ignores those of us who are gunning for the door in the next 4 weeks. He just says "Let's meet later" and then...oh...notimeforyou. But my favorite thing is that he refuses to make an appointment to see me. "oh no...I will find you later"....sure...right...liar. I swear, I think i would have to light my thesis on fire and put it on his desk to get his attention. Ah...the joy. Only 19 days til I have to turn it in. "This too shall pass."

Sigh

Well tomorrow...another tri...and this time instead of just feeling mildly under prepared, i feel...REALLY under prepared. The hills look, um...how shall I say...scary (i pushed the 'register' button before I realized how big they were...although i'm still not sure if that would have stopped me.)...and I have been biking on not a single hill...so that just means...more FUN for me. actually...no sarcasm....it really does mean that...it's all about the experience....it's about being there, enjoying the day, seeing friends, and experiencing it. I have no expectations except to experience it all, stroke for stroke, pedal for pedal, stride for stride.

Fingers crossed that there won't be lightening.

See ya on the flip side.

To tri...

((OK I have a disclaimer before you read this post.
1) If you love Shakespear and cannot bear the thought
of someone using one of his soliloquy and modifying it...
well  don't read on (and you should sue all those english
teachers who make students re-do
one in proper iambic pentameter too :-))
2) To dissert in proper definition means:
to speak or write at length...which is sorta what I mean.
Mainly I mean the whole process of crafting of a disseration...
so yes, i did sorta make up the word...but...anyway...)
3) I did actually attempt to try to keep
the iambic pentameter...hence the weird changes to words.
4) Why did I do this? um...i'm finding that in order
feed the 'creative' juices for my other analytical writing, i'm finding
I need to do creative things and other things...and well...i'm a dork. :-))



To tri, or not to tri: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler to dissert and endure
The slings and arrows of graduate school,
Or to take arms against a sea of swimmers,
And thus be swum over? To swim: to bike;
To run; and to tri is not to dissert
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That being passed is heir to, 'tis better
To commit to finish. To swim, to bike;
To tri: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;
For in any tri what dreams may be born
When we have shuffled off this mortal fear,
Must give us pause: and a respect to tri.
This makes one see we are so short of time.
To miss the chance to spend with friends and race,
Or to stare at a screen and to dissert,
While fully knowing the pangs of missed chance,
Or endure the mock of conscience instead
That one would endure by choosing to tri,
When she herself knows which the wiser choice,
Being faced with the truth of a lost day,
And rather to push-on and sweat and tri,
But that the dread of lost chance wins against
The bearing of great angst of not dissert’g.
Know’g no one returns unchanged from a race,
Rather it makes us bear those ills we have
With others, as we see life must be lived
And not let conscience make cowards of us;
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is marred by a small pale thought to dissert,
The enterprising company of words
That shall be chapters that few will e’er read,
And lose the name of action. - Soft you tri!
The fair race! Oi, it seems there is one choice
But to dissert like mad until the tri.

So...I am in...i have signed up...and
I am doing another tri this weekend! Yea.

why is blogger being a pain??

And dance...

"Dance like no one is watching"...

Slightly cliche...but here's why you should...you just might make someone's day.

I had a 'ho-hum' sort of day...nothing too exciting. A lot of boring reading...what's new. I went to the grocery store to pick up some dinner and there is this 70+ year old guy, driving his car...ROCKING out to POLKA music...he was singing and dancing (as much as a person can when they are driving a car)...and now...I can't wipe the smile off my face. It made my day, if not my week. Not because of what he 'looked' like while flailing about in his car (although it was humorous), but because he did it with such wild abandon.

It made me think about how little in my life I do with wild abandon. Just to do whatever, and not think about how I look or what others will say, or really care about whatever they think...so rarely will I just do something with everything I have and not care what other people think...I know that many times when I think about doing something with wild abandon, i begin to fear that others might judge me for my crazy behavior, yet many times it actually encourages others to try something new.

but in reality, most of my behavior is a bit erratic and crazy...so WHY do i even care anyway?

so strange

What *was* I thinking?

"What was I thinking?" Coursed through my brain at 4AM Sat morning when the alarm went off. After the discovery of a flat tire as I was loading my bike on the bike rack on Friday night and two tire changes later ( worthy of pit crew status of course...OK...totally lying on that one.) due to one of my spares ALSO having a hole in it, I got to bed rather late on Friday. Sat morning's rudely early start got me doubting this whole triathlon thing in general. Really...'what was i thinking??'

OK i will admit it...this thought generally goes through my head at least once on race day. But generally it is reserved for the time right after I have gotten off my bike and I am attempting to run on Jell-o legs and I just feel the burn of the previous discipline course through my quads. So I figured, hey...let's get that comment out of the way early on...and early it was.

And yet another confession if you are already unaware of ...i am not a morning person. I want to be a morning person. But I am not one. Even if I had more than 4.5 hour of sleep on Friday night...hey even if I got 8 hours of sleep on Friday night, Sat's 4am wake up call would have still left me in a delirious stupor. It has to do with the time of day...not the amount of sleep I get.

It was my friend PH's first tri...and our friend KB wanted to come along and cheer us on. While having a cheering section is ALWAYS great...i couldn't help thinking "you want to get up at WHAT time to come WITH us...and stand around and cheer"? Obviously...an awesome friend. Anyway, PH showed at my house at 4:30...we loaded the gear and got on the road. The weather was PERFECT. High of 80...70 at the start, sunny...lovely...wonderful basically.

I've been so busy these days with trying to get done, that i haven't had time to contemplate the whole racing...training...ect. I knew that my endurance base was pathetic. I knew I wasn't super trained for the race...but I think the enthusiasm that PH had for the race was a lot to encourage me to give it a go and just enjoy. Since my training has been less than steller, i had no expectations...and that was really what I needed right now in my life. Trying to finish up before I move has held enough expectations...and recently I think what I needed was something that I enjoyed and could share with others to help put life in general into into perspective a little.

Anyway...we get to the race, set up...get geared up. No issues really. PH is in the first wave...i'm in the 4th or 5th. A lot of standing around and waiting. I realize i'm hungry at this point. It's been almost 4 hours since I ate. Although...maybe those are butterflies and not hunger pangs...:-)

Finally it's my swim start...and we are off. During the swim I make a conscious decision to just be in the race...fully...what ever I am doing. I tend to always think about "what's next" in a race...and hey let's be honest...how often do we just be in whatever activity we are doing in life. So I decided to be fully aware of the day...and just enjoy. Breathe, stroke, breathe, stroke. And finally...i saw the beach. It was actually a really good swim for me as far as my rhythm and sighting and not dropping my hips when I sighted...total time 17:00 for 1/2 a mile . The swim confirmed my LOVE of my new swim goggles.

T1 I managed not to hang out in too long...less than 2 mins. Nice.

The bike was a very undulating course...never really a time without a hill. It was an alright course...some areas a bit rough...I was please to see a final avg speed on my computer of 16.6mph. That's about where I finished up last season in my avg speeds...so to see that in a race that I haven't been in the saddle all that much for...is great...encourages me for when I have more time to devote to training.

T2...quick again.

The run.."i thought there were more aid stations" went through my head half way through mile 1 since there was one supposed to be at the 0.5 mile mark. Oh well..i'll live. The first half was up hill. My watch said...9:20 for the first mile, 10:30 for the second mile...and then 7:45 for the next mile and 4 something for the final .2 miles...looking at those time...mile markers MUST have been misplaced. Granted the 7:45 was on a down hill...but, honestly...no...my effort was not a sub 8mpm...fun to entertain, but more likely a misplaced mile marker. Over all pace from my final time looks like it was 9:40 something...

Final time 1:40: something.

I was pleased. I had no expectations except to have fun...and I did...sure it was definitely not my potential...but neither has my training these days. I wanted my friend PH to have lots of fun...and he did. His comment afterwards was "that was AWESOME"... that was the best part. My friend KB had a great time cheering.

The best part was just to savor the day...savor each discipline as it passed...I got to share a part of my life with good friends that many in my don't get to...and then to watch them find so much joy in it...filled me with joy.

So...what was i thinking?? I was thinking it was going to be an awesome race shared with friends...and it was.

Happy Dance

Yesterday was another milestone...and this one I cleanly rocked out of the water. No more experiments, only writing left to do. THIRTY-SEVEN days to finish writing and 45 days til Defense Day...and fifty some odd days til the movers show up and haul my sorry butt out to S.Cali...i say "Bring it"

happy dance...happy dance...happy dance.

BUT there is a much more FUN reason for a happy dance

THIS WEEKEND...Tri-fun.

It's my friend's first Tri and its the first of the season for me.

And while my endurance is, um, how shall we say...bad...and i've never been this undertrained for triathlon...i have to say, it'll still be lots of fun. It's gonna hurt. But, yea...ok...it's kewl.

I've been training reasonably for the past few weeks...I got a great brick in on Sat 15 mile bike with a 2 mile run. Mainly workouts have been fairly consistent 4-5 days a week. And i've had a lot of open water practice this season, which is good.

OH, but I bought the BEST thing EVAH...open water/tri goggles

I.HEART.THEM.

I do.

Maybe the seal goggles are old news to you...but they are amazing. You can see lots...and as long as you don't break the seal on them, they don't leak. Yet another reason for a spontaneous Happy Dance.

When I was purchasing the goggles, i'm not quite sure how I made it out of the store with only the goggles and a new race belt (again...I heart the race belt...but as much as i love it...it didn't change my life like the goggles did). The tri clothes kept calling my name...I managed to escape...somehow...i don't know how.

Yea...tri this weekend.

back and forth

Well after a week long traveling bunch of fun, i'm back to MA...with just a few short weeks til I move. What will happen in that time is too soon to tell...but there is a lot of chaos headed toward me. AND...drumroll please... i WILL actually be doing a tri this summer. Here's the really cool part...I talked a friend of mine into doing his first tri. Getting new people into this sport is always so much fun. And I have a new tri training buddy which is great too. Back to open water swimming for the summer. More on that on a later post.

Anyway...the last week was awesome even though it involved a lot of flying and a lot of driving. I flew to Seattle to meet up with a friend of mine, hang out for a day and then hit the road and drive to Montana for a good friend of our's wedding. So the night before my friend JT and I hit the road, we were discussing travel plans for the trip. I was supposed to be there by 5pm as I was going to be in part of the wedding and was suppose to be at the rehearsal at the church.

Um, yea.

The night before me, JT, her husband, and I discuss the trip....how long it'd take...bla, bla, bla. So we set up...decided on a start time between 7 and 730am as we thought that would get us there right darn close to when I needed to be there...and we could help with decorating the church.

Over half way to MT we find a nice place for lunch. I've taken a bite out of my sandwich when JT looks at me and says:
"OH CRAP"
i look puzzled
she says "timechange"
me: "hmmm??" thinking, thinking thinking....ARG! The three of us the night before had neglected the time change and now we were an hour LATE...not *just* on time to the rehearsal. ARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGG!! (but funny that the three of us could not catch it).

In the end we made it to the church...not on time...but found out what I needed to know for the wedding the next day and all was well.

The trip out was beautiful. I'm from idaho originally and have spent a good deal of my life in the Pacific Northwest, so while parts of the trip were new...it was still so familiar to me at the same time. Sigh.

The hills were beautiful...we weren't in quite the right places for the BIG mountains, but it was still The West, and breath taking. (Although Benson said that Montana had covered wagons...in my long, long drive...no covered wagons. Ahem...did I miss something? :-))

The wedding was fun over all. And not surprisingly some of my normal silliness surfaced...

On the way back we needed a stop in Coeur D'Alene and what did we just take a rest break in the middle of....but Ironman CDA. I waved at the Ironman bikers who where zooming by. I quickly cheered, but then we had to get going.

After a rediculous amount of driving and flying...I made it back. I am looking forward to the tri i'm doing mid july...and i knowing that this insane chapter in my life is coming to a close soon enough...soon enough....

less ranting...more training...

My personal ranting in my life in response to monday has subsided a little bit. Which is good...it has allowed me to get what needs to be done, well, done. This event has also encouraged more running...so Wed and Thursday I ran 6 miles each day. I liked that. But i'm now I'm in need of some yoga.

I found some weekly 5K cross country races on Monday and Thursday...3 dollar entry sort of deal that i may start doing . AND I found a place not too far away that does a sprint Tri every other week for a mere 15 dollars on Thursday nights! (although that might be a disaster considering my minimal training) I think i'm going to have to start training so I can check that out...otherwise I may not race at all til after I move to S.Cali at the rate i'm going this summer. But it seems these days that I tend to dream more about what I think *might* be possible with my time, instead of realizing...that I don't really have the time I think that I do. I can pretend...right? I find some enjoyment with just dreaming that I have the time to enjoy them, rather than dealing with reality that i don't really have that luxury...but a girl can pretend. It helps keep me happier.

But over the past few days as I've been out on my wonderful runs, i've been thinking about some of my long term (over the next few years) sorts of Tri goals. I have noticed that my thinking has changed a lot...it's a bit strange...and amazingly liberating too. That's a later post, I'm sure.

So the new perspective i'm attempting to hold is...less ranting...more training...

Lemonade...

"When Life Gives you Lemons...make some...Lemonade".

I went for a run this morning...an amazing 6 miles. Don't know what got into me. But keep your eyes here...i think you will actually see some more of that.

So while i'm out running...i was thinking of that stupid saying about making lemonade...because Life handed me some Lemons on Monday...and you know what I think...i DON'T think you should make Lemonade out of them. To me...that's a passive thing to do when crappy things happen. Instead...take those Lemons and go play baseball with them. Or THROW.THEM.BACK. I like the latter one personally. Once I gather myself in one piece...I say...PLAY BALL.

I have learned (and am learning)an extreme amount from this Lemon experience. I thought about the fact that sometimes when we achieve our goal straight out...it is a learning experience, but not always the richest. I'm not saying don't "go for it"...or give it your all...or press on... Missing the goal isn't really the only point...it's how you go AFTER the goal...and what you do that makes you ache and want the goal. But sometimes the wheels fall off. Sometimes the preparation you thought was sufficient leaves you wanting. It's in the midst of things going poorly in a situation that we have no control of the only thing that can be done is to take stock in what is important and discover a new facet of who we are. It becomes more important to realize the result is what it is and to learn that picking up the pieces has as much value (if not more), than pushing through and achieving the goal the first time. I am absolutely advocating to prepare, to toe the line, to work one's butt off, to dream, to pursue, to PRESS IN and PRESS ON...but sometimes the result is still a little bitter because it is not what we wanted. (sometimes it's more than a little bitter tasting)...but it does have value...and sometimes that lesson has more value than I give missed goals credit for.

When life hands a Lemon...it's ok to be angry for a minute...but ultimately...

PLAY BALL

rough day

i had a rough day yesterday...and if these thunderstorms would STOP...i might be able to get my run on which would help me a lot.

i need to get my run on...PUUULEESSE stop.


by the way...in case you weren't aware...people are insane...and many more than you think should be locked away.

where is the paddy wagon for those that escaped the looney bin? I know a few that really shouldn't be a part of functioning society.