Things are...uh...interesting around here at the moment. Had my first D.N.S. for a race (did not start) this weekend. Well I guess I will have a few others this season too, Wildflower and Ironman CDA, but I actually have planned not to race those races at this point...Super Seal I had planned to race until 6am that morning.
Let me back up. Pretty much since the week before Desert Triathlon I have dealt with unexplained fatigue. Still waiting on 3 more tests this week but so far all i have been told is that i have low-ish ferritin levels and low-ish Vit D levels (not anemic, thyroid is completely normal). Nothing that would explain drawn out fatigue for now...uh...two months. And this is: i'm unmotivated to get out of bed type of fatigue/unmotiviated to get my work done type of fatigue. I stopped worry about my training and just started worrying about my job. And I do have to say things have gotten a little better with a few supplements to help boost motivation levels...but the fatigue has stayed with me.
On Saturday I made it to packet pickup just before they closed and was able to catch up with fellow TNS peep who was racing the next day too. We chatted and said our 'see ya laters' and parted ways. I FULLY expected to race the next day. But...i did have a nagging thought of: is this really that smart?
I had a friend of mine email me earlier in the week and say: really...you are going to race because you don't want to take a hit on the race entry? That doesn't sound like the smart girl you are.
But i ignored that thought.
And then it gnawed at me.
And then I woke up race morning and thought about that thought and realized: hmmmm if I have to dig myself out of another massive fatigue hole like I had to after Desert tri (two FULL weeks of barely getting out of bed...and now just general mailase) so..not...worth it. So after getting up, eating, packing and gettting ready to leave the house I decided the trade off would just be not worth it. Spending another who knows how long being extremely fatigued was so not worth it when i'm finally at the level of *just* that constant moderately fatigued. (i'm being sarcastic...it's pretty ridiculous actually...18 mile bike ride 2 weeks ago almost left me in bed for the afternoon)...so i decided i would then just take a short nap and then go spectate for the race.
FOUR AND A HALF HOURS LATER...i groggily woke up and could barely pull myself together. No spectating for me. I was a bit of a disaster on Sunday but considering how LONG i slept after I went back to sleep I KNOW i made the right decision and i have NO regrets (aside from wasting money).
So for right now i'm dealing with the fact I want to exercise more but I don't really know how much is too much. I have a holistic nutritionist trying to help me through this as well as my doctor although my nutritionist is scaring me to death at the moment and has all kinds of not too fun thoughts of what might be going on. But for the moment i'm waiting for a cortisol test, mono test and a lupus test. If nothing comes back conclusive...i'm totally out of ideas.
In the meantime I have cleared my plate of triathlon. I take long walks along the beach now. I ride my bike as much as it will let me before i get fatigued. I do run a little here and there and try to do minimal training. The goals these days is: stay active. A little yoga, a little weight lifting...and a whole lotta: whatever keeps you being active is good enough.
Well it is mid april and i hate to say it...but it seems my season is over for a little while. That's kinda weird to realize. But the great part: some wonderful beaches and wonderful walks and sunsets and making new friends and enjoying what I can and mainly not focusing on what I can't do, but what I still can.