Care and feeding

The care and feeding of a graduate student:

1)Always have enough coffee, chocolate, and tissues on hand for ANY given moment. You may need to use all three...and well if that's the case, better duck for cover.

2) We all know you *mean* the best when you ask "When are you going to graduate?"...but really, the way to show that graduate student you care for them...is to stay away from that silly question. Well that is if you value your life. (And any suggestions on how to tactfully respond to that question? My gut instinct is to say something rather nasty, some how i've kept it under wraps....at least for the moment. Tears usually get people to stop asking) And in all truth this question just rubs salt in the wounds...which there are a lot of. Be sensitive.

3) Asking "What are you going to do when you are done?" or "Aren't you supposed to go to (fill in the blank) conference?" falls into the same category as number two. Back off.

4) Random cheering, encouragement and chocolate (see number 1) is always appreciated.

5) Nothing is 'intutively obvious'...trust me.

6) Just because it falls into the 'you did this during your 'freshman year lab' category does not mean the answer is/should be easy or is non-trivial. Especially when no one can explain WHY it doesn't work. Funny..ha.ha.ha...SOOO not laughing. Saying things like this are actually mean.

7) Resistentialism is alive and well. There is even some scientific proof to back it up.

Resistentialism (ri-zis-TEN-shul-iz-um) noun
The theory that inanimate objects demonstrate hostile behavior against us.

8) Endurance is not just needed for a triathlon.

9) Actually grad school is more like water torture. drip....drip....drip. Little things add up.

10) A person's brain is finite. A grad student can only cram so much inside that little brain of his or hers. Don't be too offended if important information like your birthday got discarded. In all truth all that really means that the grad student has also lost LOADS of other crucial information like: their name, their phone number, their address, what day it is, when they showered last, when they ate last, or even your name. Be nice...one day they will regain that information...we all hope at least.