Ironman...it is with great sadness that I have to say: we are breaking up. I know you will always be there and I will revisit this relationship in the future, but for the time being I have to tell you good-bye. Upon embarking upon this demanding relationship I knew there would be hurdles and sacrifices and when I pushed the button for IMCDA last year I embraced your demanding needs and accepted the high attention you would require. I had sequestered the time in my life necessary for you. As with many new relationships it is easy to give that time up when everything is new and shiny.
And currently I still feel like our relationship is a little 'new and shiny' but ironman...you do not play well with others it seems. You are an awfully jealous partner and can cause one's anxiety to run high when the demands of the training are high. And to be honest, I knew this going into the relationship. I accepted your needs and was willing to meet them.
But then...then...then...yes my heart did wander. I could not help it. An opportunity of a lifetime that is my dream came along...but in truth my heart did not wander...my heart was always with my dream, just laying dormant until that dream became a tangible reality. I somehow thought that since on paper it was possible to share my time between you and my dream I could do it. But alas the sleep you need, you were not getting, the attention you need you were not getting, and then there was that pesky job of mine sending me all over the place that you did not like.
sigh
So...ironman...for the time being we are breaking up...and I am sad. But I know it is the right decision. Until I can give you the time that you deserve, you can find me in cahoots with your less demanding relatives half-iron and oly. And while it is with great sadness that we are breaking up, I know you will always be there. And don't be surprised if in the future I start flirting with you again...when my time and heart are not so divided. I do not know if that will be next year or down the road. Much depends upon the opportunity with the dream and what happens this year with that.
Granted it does mean that the velodrome and I can be much closer friends. I was going to have to break up with the velodrome for 2 months...for YOU!! Don't you see the kind of sacrifice i was willing to give you??? But i know...i know...working 60+ hours a week and traveling and my heart and focus being with my dream doesn't really mix with what you need. Until that time in the future...good bye ironman.
7 comments:
i'm sure you knew it was the right decision for you as soon as you made it. Do you feel 50 pounds lighter?!?!
Brilliant post! What a tough decision but so definitely sounds like the right one. Especially when it means you get to do velodrome when you do have free time. And dreams must be seized when they flit by...go girl! And maybe come to Santa Rosa for Barb's Race on July 31st - it's a 70.3 and fun (I hear)!
You are making the right choice. You only have so many hours in the day and an IM requires WAY TOO many of them.
Go chase your dreams, IM will be there.
It's not going anywhere (but it may be even more expensive!! UGHH!)
RP, I can't believe it! This is a temporary breakup, right? How can you turn away from M-dot with his broad shoulders and smoldering eye. Good for you for making the call rather than letting the situation devolve and take the rest of your life over. When it fits your life better I promise there will be races to do :)
IM is the bad boy boyfriend you have to date once to learn that he's really not good for you, but is a hell of a ride. He'll be there, lurking and waiting in his skin tight spandex, ready for you to ride the lightning when you're ready.
Good call, though. Go be fulfilled.
Delightful writing.
How could it be the wrong choice for you right now!
Best wishes.
So great to finally meet you! You definitely made the right call with IM. Racing will always be there, even the long stuff. But your jobs and your dreams come and go and you need to chase them when you can!
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