a slippery sliding slope

many times in life we just climb, climb, climb and climb. wondering where the top is. Wondering what is on the other side. Wondering...when the stupid mountain will stop towering in front of us. And then there are other times when we don't realize we are on a precipitous slope that is about to give way underneath us and send us crashing down the hill. And while the tumultuous fall down the side of the slope is unnerving...it is important to get down the hill to see what is in store next. The disconcerting thing is: we don't know when we will stop sliding.

i am in a little bit of a free fall right now. i'm trying to kick my hands up in the air like it is a roller coaster ride and just enjoy the free fall, but i still have a little bit of that 'sick to my stomach feeling' you get when in free fall and desperately want to cling to a tree on the side of the mountain.

So here are some learnings of this free fall just this week:

• I hate the word: opportunity... especially when it is used to depict crap. Crap is crap. it is not opportunity and it SURE does not smell like it either. Please just call a spade a spade.
  
• being a home owner isn't the end all and be all in life. I will not be buying this condo...and i will not be purchasing anything in the near future. Many things pointed to the reality that: It was not the right time for me. I am at peace with that.
• winning 'fake points' during a velodrome class...is still really fun. Even if you suspect the other person let you win. (ok this isn't really a 'free fall' type of learning...but a general learning from the week.)
• When real opportunity does knock on the door and speaks sweetly...it is scary and you start to wonder: is it really on the other side? And it may or may not be...but the belief that it might is very exciting. Even if the level of sacrifice is high...
• when in freefall...relax...it could take you where you've never dared to dream. And while those dreams are just dreams...you start to realize how valuable they are when you say: i would give up XYZ for it. And you never realized you WOULD give up XYZ.
  
• what happens to a dream deferred? you fight harder if the chance comes round again. you fight like you have nothing to lose because you realize you may only get one chance this time around.
  

just trying to relax as i slide down and hope of new things that might be in store.

bike shopping

ahhhh...yes...i am shopping for a tri bike. Me being me...i started out over analyzing the situation and almost feeling like I needed to know EVERYTHING about the bike and what i may or may not want before jumping into the process. I finally told myself to : chill out...have fun riding some bikes.

So...i've started having some fun riding some bikes. So I'm sure you will see a lot of MY opinions on various bikes...but they are just that MY opinion. We all ride differently and like different things so these are just what I have observed and what I like. What i learned from my track bike buying experience is that if I ride some bikes...the bike will 'speak' to me so to say...and i'm sure i will be able to figure out what I want from there.

I only managed to squeeze in two bike this weekend...but I decided to start with the standard bike you see EVERYWHERE at a tri...the Cervelo. I know a few people who swear by the Cervelo...and a few who HATE the cervelo...i just wanted to know what the fuss was all about, so I gave one a go.

i'm not a super duper short woman...5'4" AND i have a long torso...so i thought I would be set with tribikes and not have to have the tiny size with the tiny wheels. (i have a somewhat irrational/rational disdain for 650 wheels at the moment...it's boarderline funny) so I was rather surprised when the 51cm bike did not fit me. I had to go down to the tiny 49...with the tiny wheels.

I got to ride it around for a solid 20minutes and the words that came to mind when i road it were: squirrelly, playful, puppy, and yes...giggle. I don't know where the word giggle came from, but I found the bike very puppy-like. I read roadbike reviews and the commentator has some eloquent speech about the bike's handling and this or that...that's not me. I also didn't like the geometry all that much at first...i felt like i had my knees in my belly the whole time (even though they weren't touching and I basically got a bike fit before they sent me out to test ride it. So i know i was set up...props to the Trek store). I chalked it up to never having been on a true tribike and only been on my roadbike with aerobars. I anticpated the difference, but I guess my take away was while the bike is supposed to be fast...it just didn't 'feel' fast to me. (it doesn't mean that's not a fast bike...don't get me wrong...again...my opinion...and i don't get to wind tunnel or time trial these bikes so this is from a 20minute test ride...what do I know? Not a whole lot from this).

Then onto...a very 'gucci' bike as i will now refer to it. A friend of mine works at a bike shop and had told me that they had just gotten some Specalized in my size. I somehow interpreted that to mean: we have these specalized built up. I'm a little dense sometimes. I must have not heard him...so I asked if i could come and try one out to check my size in a Specalized time trial bike. I thought that they had the Specalized Comps built up. I show up...um...no...the only one built up in my size is the fancy high end gucci bike. The gucci bike...the Specalized S-Works transition...it's pretty hawt and the fit is pretty much perfect. Oh my...me wants it. I didn't get to ride it much, but it was a better fit than the P2...and no silly small wheels either...it also just felt right. But that much for a bike...you'd HOPE so.

But the takeaway at the moment is that the Specalized size/geometry could work for me. But i've just started the shopping...and it's FUN. On the list of bikes to try out:
Kestral
Cannondale Slice
Orbea
Felt
Giant
Jamis (if i can find my size)
Guru

Any others i'm missing? I think i can find all of these in my size somewhere in this town.

this is fun ...:-)

Will race for cookies!

This weekend was the Malibu triathlon...where on Saturday there was an olympic distance race and on Sunday was the Star studded sprint distance race that raised money for Children's Hospital of LA. I picked up this little gem of a t-shirt at the race. I do embrace this M.O. In gradschool someone asked me why I did triathlons and I turned to them and said: so i can eat ice cream. I dont' think he believed me but I was being honest. That is one thing I am looking forward to with Ironman training...being able to keep icecream in the freezer. The little perks of training...right?

Since Vineman i have been somewhat 'offseasoned' and mainly have had a training regime of 'do something' for 5-6 days a week. I've been riding my bike some, running a little, swimming occasionally (so as not to forget how) and lifting weights frequently with an attempt to strengthen the hips as well as completely undo all the weirdness I did to my hip when I injuried it. Interesting stuff how the body compensates for an injury. I think i may have developed my amazing heel striker ability partly due to this injury...but that is a topic for another time.

Coming into the race I had little expectation. I may have only done one 'proper' olympic distance of 1500m/40K/10k. I've done a few that area 'around' that length, but really only OC tri last year is one of the same distance. Comparing the two...i PR'd on Saturday for an OLY distance. My favorite was to see a 6 minute improvement in my bike split...granted my bike split at Malibu includes stopping and get off my bike to pee.

Not having a lot of focus on the race both training or expectations is sorta a weird spot to race. My legs felt weird, not really springy...so I just went with it. My swim pace was a little slow...but there was a lot of swells out there. My bike pace included a pit stop...so who knows how fast I was going. And my run pace was pretty solid around an 8:40 avg...which I was surprised by since i really just distracted myself by following my foot turnover the whole time. (90-96 footfalls/min)

Sunday I hung around and cheered other TNSers on and watched all the celebrities race alongside everyone. Saturday is a smaller field and you don't have to deal with all the poparazzi. I liked the size of the field much better than how big Sunday was.

The weekend was pretty awesome all around. I had a solid race (which I have sense discoverd I in the top 25% of my age group), got to reconnect with some friends and make some new friends.

And yes...i did have a cookie. :-)

ebb and flow

ebb
1. to flow back or away, as the water of tide (opposed to flow)
2. to decline or decay; fade away

flow:
1. to rise and advance, as the tide (opposed to ebb).
2. to abound in something: The tavern flowed with wine.

Life is give and take and ebb and flow. What has become abundantly clear to me in the past few weeks is that life can be both....at one time...all at once and not at all. It can ebb and flow in different directions and take me with it in all areas and at the same time leave me somewhat torn on how to even think about it. And it seems that this process leaves me holding my hands open, trying to catch water flowing through my fingers....which is something I cannot....and I must just let it flow and almost helplessly watch the water slip through.

Part of the process is breathing in...and breathing out...and learning to exhale. Breathe in the scents of new mornings with warm sunshine and breathe out all that is weighty and stale. And then accept the grace that is needed to begin again.

and so begin...again...

1 bike ride, 35 miles, a headwind in EVERY direction, and 176.99 dollars later

Warning...this is a dysfunctional post...total ramble. Read at one's own risk.

i might actually have my legs back. maybe? possibly? almost. Blew off an offer to ride 50 miles yesterday cuz it looked yucky out...ok that was what i said but i'll be honest here...i didn't feel great. Tired. Tired...oh...and tired. not the crazy malaise I had two weeks ago where I would fall asleep at the drop of a hat, but just...meeh. I'm having a hard time accepting that 4 very stressful weeks in the office full of travel, a week of heavy duty experiments, people actively stressing me out at work, a checkpoint, a condo i'm trying to buy and that thing called 'life' that doesn't seem to stop either. It's those 'other' things that seems to be draining me and impacting me more than I would like to admit are starting to take its toll on me. I don't think racing a half marathon a week ago really helped either... So...this week i've just sucked it up and accepted that I need to be 'nicer' to my body. (mostly) I spent half of a yoga class on Wednesday in child's pose because my body just didn't want to do much back bending and it seemed every pose had a back bend involved. seriously? ugh.

So I rescheduled with Kimmy....and we headed out this afternoon after I got out of church. It was supposed to be a chilled out 30ish ride...you know...2ish hours...enjoy the beautiful day sort of deal. And it started out as much granted there was a killer headwind as we went north...but we chatted about how GREAT the tailwind would be on the way back. But then I noticed the holder that holds my super ghetto bike computer decided to swing itself around my aerobars. Ohhh the dangle...looked like a disaster waiting to happen. So halfway through we stopped to fix it at a LBS. 5 minutes later, easy peasy fix...all ready to gooooooooooooo...hmmm...im hungry...shot blocks? 1.99...k....let's rock and roll.

But kimmy is admiring the beautiful bikes. ohhhh and the bike lust set in with all the beautiful bikes. And then bikeshopguy who is a friend of kimmy's starts talking fitting, bikes, gearing, bikes, and more bikes. oh...thinking of buying a tri-bike??....and then successfully SUCKED into the bike store vortex. Current debate I am now chewing on...IF i were to buy a tri bike here soon...what gearing?? Standard crank set vs. Compact when i'm used to a triple at 30/42/52 with a 12-25?...and did you know...they now sell 11-28s? In fact I learned all kinds of crazy rear cog set-ups are available. keep in mind it is only in the past year I even barely started to understand what the gearing was all about and for the record...i never use to CARE.ugh...i think the gearing debate is a post in itself.

so...bikeshopguy asks kimmy about the health of her chain...she brings in her bike and...ut-oh...chain is waaaaaaaaaaay stretched and has impacted her rear cog set in the process. So one new chain, a rear cogset, 175.00 dollars later...we are now ready to head out...ugh 176.99 just dropped on what was supposed to be an easy peasy fix for me.

The rest of the ride seemed somehow to be a constant headwind no matter what direction we went. North...east...south...west. ugh. But I did hammer it a bit down one of my favorite stretches (aside from the crappy pavement part...it's just no stoplight zone for about 4-5 miles)...and the legs are almost back to where I'd like so i'm pleased.

And while a wickedly long 35 mile bike ride due to our little side excursion...still an awesome fun way to spend a Sunday afternoon...on two wheels and with a good friend.

Running in the moment

Today was AFC half marathon...which was an interesting endeavor on many fronts. But the quick and the dirty: 1:56...My 2nd fastest half marathon to date and only 2 mins off my PR at La Jolla. Not too bad for a girl who a week ago thought that her body was being inhabited by an very unfit alien.

Up until Tuesday of this week I was WORRIED about what might happen at AFC since I was a month out from having raced Vineman 70.3. I had spent the previous weekend sleeping, sleeping, attempting to learn to surf, and sleeping some more. Come monday I still had a bad case of malaise, but by tuesday my running didn't look too bad and by thursday I knew it wasn't going to be horrible...it just might hurt a bit.

Since I was showing signs of anxiety about the race, I equally attempted to mitigate some of my fears and tried to figure out ways to just let the race unfold and be in each moment. Since Vineman I've been reading a lot of articles on heart rate monitors and are they useful or not useful? How much information really am I getting from them? What IS it really telling me since HR can vary by as much as 10-20bpm from day to day and then...the impact of weather? And.... don't I know my body well enough to know when it's super easy(walking), easy (aerobic zone), harder (LT zone) and very hard (AT zone) and very very very hard (VO2max)? Actually from all the time trials I did this season and all the times I tracked my HR...i know precisely what these zone are without really needing to look at a watch to tell me this...so it got me thinking...

And then...i've been re-looking at my vineman data and well...what I find curious is the second half of the bike...my HR dropped and my speed went from 18.4 mph to 18.3mph. Not really much of a change in speed for my HR drop. And as it was, i was operating 10bpm lower than that infamous 'zone' that I knew I could be in. The reason why i backed off? I got nervous about the half marathon. So as it was the HR was not telling me anything except I could go faster...but my body was saying: i'm not sure if you push us harder i will support that half mary the way you want. Are you sure you want to go harder?

So I listened to my body and i backed off...and I made the right choice. And...As it was for the half marathon...i had no HR data since when my the HR strap has too much water on it, it doesn't read correctly...and since I kept putting ice down my jersey and dumping water on me...my HR kept reading 98bpm. Hahahaha. So really...off my Garmin the pace was helpful, but I didn't actually use that HR portion of the Garmin for much of anything at Vineman.

Back to AFC...i decided to do an experiment, let's strip it down further...no continual pace and distance...no Garmin/HRM, only my little watch with splits. Just breathe in, breathe out...feel the body...feel where it can push faster...feel when I need to pull back...relax, focus on the foot falls, body position, the breathing the relaxing.

And know what...it was a very relaxing and enjoyable race. It actually went by quite quickly mentally and turned into a great race by just being able to be in the moment.

Breathe in...breathe out

Lost and found?

Dear Vineman 70.3 race directors:

I am writing to inquire about if you have a lost and found from the race? I had a fantastic time racing three weeks ago, but it seems that I am missing a few things post race. Maybe some of your wonderful volunteers have come across any of these items? You see, I came into the race ready and excited and the results of the day were that I had a fantastic day, but it now seems that I may have lost a few things along the way.

Many people say: ‘when racing, to leave ‘it’ all on the course’…and while I believe that the results of some focused training and well planned taper and good nutrition allowed me to leave ‘it’ all on the course…three weeks later I was wondering if anyone happened to come across ‘it’ out there on the course and if a wonderful volunteer might be willing to mail ‘it’ back to me?

You see…I didn’t expect to see ‘it’ for awhile, I understand that the demands of a five hour and fifty five minute race or any race of 70.3 miles may take awhile for ‘it’ to come back, but I had no idea what life was like without ‘it’ so…if you see the following, could you please mail them back to me?

• One fish…
• Growing up…my parents considered me a ‘fish’ where they had to pull me out of the water…seems these days it is hard to get me near the water. Although one fish was seen last night under the light of the full moon with a glow stick attached to her cap…so maybe the fish will be back soon.
• One pair of cycling legs…
• Preferably ones that like to push a ‘big girl gear’ (heck, I’ll just take any gear at this moment!!)at the velodrome and can actually keep up with the warmup paceline until they actually start to burn out.
• They can also be described as legs that enjoy going fast and spinning at a high rate of speed.
• They can also be described at ones that don’t typically get dropped of the motor until later in workouts, not on the first time on the motor at what would be considered a ‘notsofast’ speed for the track.
• One runner…
• This is an important one, if you could keep an eye out for her I REALLY would appreciate it. I have a race in a week and oye vey…it’s a half marathon. It would be nice if she would show up for this…or at least for part of it. But part of this is dependent upon the next item that is ‘missing’…
• One cardiovascular system…
• I would think that 6 months of training would result in the ability to go out for easy bike rides with friends and not turn into a suffer fest when speeds are quite leisurely.
• While the HR seems ok…the body keeps telling the brain that it can’t breathe and most efforts, even short bursts…are seemingly taxing on the body. I’m starting to wonder if I’ve ever exercised a day in my life…at least that is what it is starting to feel like in my body.
• Even small high efforts have induced a wheezing effect which has started to cause consternation.
• Short 5 mile ‘easy’ runs have been anything but ‘easy’ with one turned into walking the last 2 miles of it.

Yes…I do seem to think that ‘it’ is coming back…verrrrrrry slowly…but I would kind of like to know a full arrival date? Do you have a tracking number on ‘it’? The lack of ‘it’ has pushed out the date of when I will start actually racing at the velodrome mainly because…I can barely ride a bike at the moment without the wheezing effect combined with a feeling like I suddenly have a fever. Oh and the malaise that has decided to inhibit my body instead of ‘it’…I’m not so pleased with. You can have that back. I didn’t mean to pick that up at the post-race expo.

I do want to say…the race was wonderful and well put on! Thanks for a great course and such an amazing experience. I really did have a fantastic time!! If you happen to see any of these items please send them to:

Rocketpants

5015 iwishicouldridemybike lane

Runningusedtobefun, CA 55519

oh and ps...if you find the 3 pounds I lost since the race, please keep them. My jeans are much happier with out them.

just one day...

One day is all it took to undo being out of the office most of the past 2.5 weeks. just.one.day.

I headed to get a massage yesterday after work (which i've been in desperate need of since my HIM) and got into my car and was crushed by a wave of how stressed out I was after just.one.day.

Findings from the massage were punctuated by the puzzlement of my massage therapist when he said: It's pretty amazing you can even lift your arms above your head when you have such large knots in your lats that I can't get to release.

sigh...

I have decided that it should be illegal to let a massage therapist use their elbows. That should be classified as a lethal weapon, not part of a massage.

And when the question is posed: so...when am I going to see you again?
ummmm....that's not actually a GOOD sign...I'm prrrretty sure that's only a good sign when its asked at the end of a good date with a guy I like.

And stress level...oh yes...the insomnia is back! Everything was punctuated by the fact that last night I was not able to keep myself asleep.

all from...just.one.day. in the office

New Beginnings

(quick note...for those who inquire...my sister is on the mend. It was something slightly odd, but fortunately they were able to figure it out...even after the un-necessary surgery she had to endure.)

Part of what was great about Vineman was that I turned it into also some vacationing. Got some wine tasting in on both Monday and Tuesday and discovered some amazing wineries and labels. My two favorites from those days were at VJB and Keating. Tried some amazing wines there and dropped a chunk of change...but I think I need to now come up with some good reasons to drink wine. ummmmm....i can think of a few. That will be on my lists of things to do over the next few months before IM training starts in Jan.

I even got to meet a fellow blogger, Sarah, who showed up at the race and we were able to catch up in person a few days later. Meeting fellow bloggers is always a fun adventure. She showed me a great spot in Santa Rosa for some good grub and...of course good wine. (a bit of a theme post Vineman)

Upon returning to SD some friends took me out to celebrate with yummy sushi. Can't go too wrong with sushi and friends? My friend Kim topped it off with
a really fun gift. She gave me this box:



(HEY are you trying to say something about my riding??)




Inside the box was this GREAT bell!!! I DO heart my bike!!!!Sadly it won't actually fit on my handle bars...i may have to figure out how to keep it on there at least for paceline warmups and RING the bell each lap. :-)

Although after 3 short days back in SD I headed to Canada for some work and while I did have a lot to reflect post Vineman it's not terribly coherent. While I discovered a lot during training for Vineman the race itself was in many ways something unexpected as far as the lessons learned. But I think the biggest lesson I learned is...this is just the beginning. Beginning of what? I'm not sure... but it is a beginning.

And beginnings are wonderful things. Like the first real snow (not here of course! ;-))of winter when everything is fresh and new and quiet. A new calendar planner with all the days that hold new possibilities. I think part of it is that I feel like for the past year and a half I have been living in an 'interm' period post-grad school. Where it has been a season of beginnings, but I haven't been ready for the beginnings mainly because I just wanted my life to stop spinning so fast. But I've learned: life does not stop...even if you beg.

So maybe i'm finally ready for new beginnings? I'm still not sure about all of them...but i'm jumping in and hoping I learn to swim real quick.

so...with wine glass raised: to new beginnings!

all together perfectly

pre-race

I headed up to Napa valley a few days early since me and some friends had rented a cabin for the whole week...I was excited...a little nervous...but mostly excited. By Friday night everyone in our little crazy, slanty cabin was there and some nervous excitement bounced around. Saturday consisted of a little workout where I was pleasantly surprised by my bike with a low HR and a high speed and a nice pace off into my run. I was feeling comfortable and confident.

We headed down to packet pickup and then drove the bike course backwards. T1 and T2 are not in the same place so it is a point to point bike. As we were driving we totally talked up the course: its rough roads, its pretty hilly, yea don't get too high expectations for your bike split...ect.

Being my first HIM my coach and i had sketched out possible ranges of times I might have, but I didn't know what to make of all of the times. Were they too fast? Could I do them? I just didn't know. And after talking to my coach we had discussed that I'd probably do around 3:15 on the course because of the hilliness. I was fine with this reality...but secretly sad too. I somewhere deep down thought I might be able to do 3 hours and the hilly bike course was taking the fun out of this possibility. But i let this desire go and realized there are other flatter courses that I might be able to achieve a 3 hour bike and let go of the thought. At the end of the day it didn't really matter the time...i had trained hard and I was going to give it my all and have fun. Time didn't really concern me...racing well and racing smart were more important.

swim like a fish

Amazingly I slept 6 full hours without waking up before the race. I even dreamed (i rarely remember my dreams)...it was pretty funny too since my dream was about going to the velodrome the night before the race and setting up my gears to ride and thinking: hmmm...i don't think my coach would like it if i did this...so I packed up my bike headed home. I started the day with a smile from that. Too random and funny.

The swim is upstream/down stream in the Russian river. It actually was pretty uneventful. I tend to swim at a stupid speed that no one else swims so I'm generally between the fast fishies and the really slow fishies in no man's land. I do remember thinking at one point: how fast do i have to go before i'm not stuck around people who will resort to the back stroke? I cannot tell you HOW many races I have been in where I have had to deal with a back stroker...and while I don't have a problem with people needing to do the back stroke, I know that if I were a little faster I wouldn't witness this.

Swim time...? There was no swim time, but I had an awfully long T1: 45:xx :-) Granted, I did actually have a ridiculously long T1. I was really struggling getting everything I needed on and at one point I just thought: screw it...this is MY day and if I need to order a pizza, do the laundry and have a picnic in T1...well...so be it. So that being said, I probably swam around 38-42ish. Which was great right where a solid swim time for me should be. I was pleased.

ride like you stole it

The bike course was rolling hills and so in some respects a little difficult to figure out what front chainring to be in most of the time. That got a little annoying, and I tried to be smart so as not to drop my chain. I tend to be quite talented at that...and managed to get through the bike without this reality.

At about mile 30 I realized my avg speed was in the mid 18mph and my HR seemed to be on the lower end of things....like 10 beats lower. So for a minute I got a little excited and sorta wanted to put the hammer down, go a little harder and see how fast I could have a bike split...but equally I got a little nervous about the fact that I was going to have to run a half marathon afterwards and since i was MORE than happy with my time and pretty stoked to see a low HR...i just let the idea of going faster fade and saved more for the run.

I kept playing leap frog with this one guy from the 29 and younger age group. Keep in mind...he was really 4-8 minutes AHEAD of me...but anyway...i'd drop him for awhile and then he'd catch back up...and then pass me for a minute or two, but I swear he'd then just slow down and I would have to re-pass him. I think me 'chicking' him multiple times frustrated him to a degree because after we had to dismount our bikes and run the timing mat ...he RAN around me to hit the mat first. Really? really REALLY? Did he just do that?Sigh...that is so lame.

I loved the bike course...i kept thinking: this is MY bike course. As I pulled into the T2 area I looked down and saw: 2:58....WOW. All I kept thinking was: 3 hours bike split from the girl who could barely hold an avg speed of 16.5mph in a sprint distance a year ago?? I was all smiles...

how many picnics in one day?
OK...T2...ridiculously long...almost SIX minutes, but that was due to needing the bathroom and almost forgetting all of my gels before I left the transition so I had to head back to my rack. Whatever...it was my day.

running on the surface of the sun
It was hot...no...IT.WAS.HOT! People have reported that the temps were somewhere in the range of 90-100 degrees.The course is rolling and...well...did I mention it was hot? I had worried about this and over heating a lot and talked a lot to different people. I had a strategy...water and ice...water and ice. I took ice at every aid station I could and shoved it down the jersey and in the hat and would pour a cup of water on me and drink a cup. There tended to be a little fiddling at times with the ice from the volunteers and when I saw my time of: 2:01 I thought:Could i have gone sub two without the ice?? And then I realized, if i had skipped the ice I probably would have overheated and gone much slower. So really?...what's two minutes if it keeps you running?

When I ran down the finishers shoot I saw the total time on the clock and knew I had gone sub 6 hours. 5:55! I was elated and ecstatic. I knew it was a possibility if I had the perfect day but to realize that I actually had the perfect day was amazing. All that hard work came together perfectly...it was really...REALLY... awesome....I don't actually have the words for it.

post race thoughts
I actually have too many post race thoughts to mull over and emote...but I guess the biggest thing is how much I surprised myself in my training and the fact that I am discovering my athletic nature. Sunday was awesome and I can't stop smiling. I was telling my friend Matt today about it and he just looked at me and said:you're glowing! I guess I am. :-)

I did...

Just returned from a week in Sonoma county for Vineman 70.3 and it.was.awesome. Here is a very brief overview of the loooooooong race report to come, but I need to go to bed right now.

In my last post I mad a few goals for my race and I DEFINITELY achieved them all.

I did...

• have fun...on more than one occasion had spectators comment on the big smile plastered on my face.
  
• thank the volunteers...they were awesome
  
• smile on occasion ...actually...most of the time I couldn't get the smile off of my face
  
• try to encourage others on the course
  
• leave it all on the course...I did this so 'well' that I ended up being ridiculously goofy after the race because I couldn't think straight... it was almost embarrassing.
  
• keep my ego in check on the bike...mission accomplished
  
• drink, eat, drink, eat, throw water on me, use ice to cool me during and after the race...did it to such a degree that I actually raced the whole race.
  
• Finish...with a big smile on my face
• And the amazing part of the day? Accomplishing my 'reach' time goal of sub 6 hours and finished it in 5:55!!! It.was.awesome

more later...

I will...

Tapering for vineman has made me ansty, but life does not stop for us as we move towards goals either. I'm in the middle of condo buying, big equipment buying at work, big project at work, team chaos with crazy people, some other odds and ends yet the real one that most likely has me the most ansty is the reality that my sister went into the hospital this weekend, had surgery yesterday and now...they still don't know what's wrong. Life does not stop.

She made me laugh today when I was on the phone with her because she was so bummed that she had to miss her first 5K because of needing to...you know...go to the hospital and all that. She joked: I sure have bad excuses for missing my first race. All I really wanted was the t-shirt.

The thing is, i'm bummed for her too. I've been helping her all spring...psudo coaching her by giving her more interesting workouts at the gym so she doesn't go completely crazy and she's gotten so much stronger, fitter and leaner. I'm so proud of her. Especially when she got all excited about signing up for this 5K that she wanted to run/walk. She even thought about doing a super sprint this summer. But many times our plans are really just that...ours. They aren't the plans that life has laid out. Too often I think I actually have a 'say' in what those plans are...but many times I do not. And...life does not stop.

But...life... sometimes in weird ways does put things into perspective. While some of this endurance stuff really is crazy I think I find some beauty in that. When it hurts it's because I can push my limits because my body is healthy enough to let me. That is something that the past year I have come to truly recognize is a privilege not a right. So in light of many learnings from this year and people I have bumped into I have come up with various goals for my race.

I will...

• have fun...i don't get paid to do this, it better be fun
• thank the volunteers
• smile on occasion (even if it hurts)
• encourage someone else
  
• leave it all on the course
• be smart about my pacing and try to keep my ego in check on the bike
• drink, eat, drink, eat, throw water on me, use ice to cool me during and after the race
• Finish
  
• make some time goals, but not let them dictate whether or not I had a 'good' day
  
• remember that I GET to do this

I am really excited, but i'm also really wound up right now due to much of the aforementioned chaos so i'm glad I'm leaving a few days early to unwind before the race.

misplaced nerves and Tour trash talk

I'm 10 days out from Vineman 70.3 and the other day when i stopped for a second I discovered....

i'm nervous about...RACING the velodrome in a month.

what?

Yep...the other day I had this HUGE wave of nervousness about what is NOT in front of me for awhile. Um...need to check in with current state of real life.

And because i'm rather excitable, full of too much energy I have also discovered I will randomly talk to strangers. At work today two guys (i have NEVER seen in my life)...were in front of me in line to get coffee...and they are doing what I call: The Tour Trash Talk.

Tour Trash Talk is the invested discussion about the riders in the tour...what they may or may not do on the next stage...what team is doing what...what politics are going on...and generally acting like those of us who are having the conversation are actually involved in the comings and goings of the Tour. I do it...those of us who follow it do it...and you know what....its really FUN.

I love the Tour and it is the ONLY time during the year I wish I A)had a TV that I could do more than watch DVDs on and B)had DVR. I don't watch TV, don't have cable so generally just have to watch small clips about the Tour online. I somehow survive, but am considering that next year this will not be the case. (gasp...i've not actually had a TV I could watch proper television since 2002)

Back to the guys in line...due to my current apparent lack of internal filter that tells me: NO...we do NOT BUTT into the conversation of TWO random strangers who are merrily having a nice conversation with out YOU. I suddenly discover that I have to join their conversation about what they think Astana is going to do on this next stage.

They let me join the conversation (because what other choice did they have?)...but definitely look at me sideways. And I even got the: Do you ride? Question. I should have gone for the fringe sport in my reply...yea...track bikes. (hahahahah)

You see...i have no one who will PLAY Tour Trash talk with me at work. My cube mate thinks i'm nuts...my group mates equally so. Lately i've been dying to talk the Tour with someone. Even though I really only know enough about all the riders to actually sound like I know who's who...its just so much FUN to hash out the previous stage or what might happen in the next stages. Mix in all the excitement about the Tour with my current phase of taper and well...i might as well be an excitable 5 year old waiting for Christmas.

I wonder what people would think of me just skipping up and down the hallways. :-)

Things that make me happy...

Different things make each of us happy and I don't think one thing or one person can really ever make a person happy...as in a permanent disposition of happiness. But there are times when happy things do happen and I think it is good to drink those in and enjoy them because this world can be harsh so much of the time that it is good to reflect on the good things and be thankful for those.

I've had a very "Things that make me happy..."kind of week even though it has been rather stressful on MANY fronts and too many times I have raised my voice at people when trying to make a point, rolled my eyes at interactions(ok maybe not DURING, but surely after), and wanted to throttle too many people. Given THAT disclaimer...i still found some happy things to be happy about.

Things that make me happy...

• Riding my 'real' racing gear at the track, 50x15, and lovin it (even if it hurts a little more).
  
• Not getting dropped in a paceline as frequently and mainly getting dropped when I would screw up and gap myself off the paceline
• Seeing my actual Garmin watch (which is known to LIE ), register its highest number to date at the velodrome: 30.2mph (which was probably more like 33mph)
  
• Riding the velodrome and seeing constant improvement
  
• Seeming like I have boundless energy and I haven't even started taper
• Discovering that the condo I am in the process of buying is within 2 blocks of the coolest coffee house. I knew I was in heaven when they had TURKEY ruben sandwiches as well as doubling as a psudo-wine bar in the evenings.
  
• Having said condo inspected only to discover the ONE minor repair that is needed on the place may cost me less than 100 dollars and it is as cute as I remember it.
  
• Going for a 'gossip' bike ride that is focused on...chatting...chatting...ooops there's a big hill...and chatting and generally enjoying the ride and catching up with a good friend.
• Gearing up to run my longest run i have ever done, 16miles, and looking forward to the final 3 mile because my good friend is going to join me
• Having good friends who enjoy similar activities
  
• After making my announcement about IMCDA to family and friends and discovering that many seem inclined to be my ironspectating section. (ppppsst...it's still open...any takers?)
  

It is good...

367 days...

It was a normal Tuesday. Nothing special about it. I was checking my email and reading some blogs and happened to find myself blog stocking someone's blog who had just finished IMCDA. I looked at my watch and realized that it was more than 24 hours since the Ironman Coeur d' Alene 2010 slots had opened. And for whatever reason I found myself on the website looking through the finishers and eventually looked at the sign up page for the event because I thought: There would be NO way it would still be open? hahaha...NOT that I would sign up for it...errr

I thought that m-dot races usually sold out in MINUTES...so i thought that it was very odd that at 9pm on a Tuesday 36 hours after registration was opened up that it should still be open. (FYI, I’m writing this on Thursday and they are STILL open) I thought it might be a glitch with Active. But.... it's not. After an hour or so of thinking about it...i realized i have actually thought about doing IMCDA for years because if I were to do an Ironman, Idaho is my home. So somehow that makes more ‘sense’ IF I was going to do an ironman...this would be the one. Granted NOTHING...nothing...about an Ironman is logical…so I’m kidding myself trying imply i had a 'logical' reason for chosing this event.

Right then I wanted to just go to bed and just not sign up...but after an hour of deliberation i knew i would be disappointed if I let it go. A few months ago in the middle of my current training for Vineman 70.3, I had a conversation with someone who said: you have to at least do one ironman for the experience. And i got to thinking….And thinking. And back in April i had very seriously toyed with making sure that I had my finger on the computer when registration opened on June 22nd...but then I got overtrained...and then I thought triathlons were silly...

My plan was to start racing at the velodrome after July. Actually…its still IS my plan and something I WILL do. Although, I think there was a point I even contemplated stopping a lot of this endurance silliness. And even considered never being a triathlete again. really. ever. (granted I like to be a drama queen in my head, so I don’t think I would have actually ever done that) I had plans to be a roadie and velodrome girl and life would be good. So somehow i sorta thought that maybe it was 'meant to be' if it was still open 36 hours after registration opened. We MUST be in a recession.

WTF did I just do?

yes...2.4 miles of swimming, 112 miles of biking and 26.2 miles of running...all in one day...all in less than 17 hours...oye it's pretty crazy and pretty silly. But as I put it to someone else..."people climb mountains solely because they are there and well...Everest is much further away, more expensive and I don't think I would like sleeping in the snow or climbing over dead bodies. "

So...yes...I will embark upon 140.6 miles of insanity in 367 days.

In the meantime…I’ve got half of that silliness to focus on. Just under 4 weeks til Vineman 70.3! And I am….EXCITED.

just how many needles?

Back in May I fell again on my right knee, which began to aggravate my (least) favorite injury my psoas. But for weeks it was just sorta aggravated and then a week chalk full of cycling REALLY aggravated it...as in: i'm trying to not throw up while releasing this trigger point...type of aggravation.

So...i decided to try acupuncture. It's easy to be skeptical about acupuncture, but if you find a good sports acupuncture person they really can help. Especially if there are muscle imbalances and you need muscles to fire correctly as well as muscle spasms. My friend had recommended a sports acupuncturist in the area so I decided to give it a try. I've had it before but wasn't really that impressed with the previous person. This time...i walk in: it's your right hip right? Yep...it is.

She poked and prodded me, noting that my right hip is actually correctly slightly tilted anterior-ly while my left hip is tilted posterior-ly. She found all sorts of interesting things going on in my body, not necessarily related directly to the psoas injury, but not unimportant either. The body tells a story even if you don't want it to. It will give away all of your secrets if you have the right person who can actually read all of them. From some of the comments she made I think she can.

She then proceeded to poke me with a zillion needles as one would expect in an acupuncture session, but she also did a modality called "cupping"

I have laugh this guy in the video and his comments related to this modality that is it soooo relaxing... oh no...it doesn't HURT...um...yea...LIAR. I have one spot that is a bright purple circle and then a region that is very purple and it was very uncomfortable. (still is a bit) The purpose of this is to help move stagnant blood that is in the interstitial regions that stagnates which can happen due to training, ect. The practitioner is also an iron distance triathlete so she understands the demands of training as well as not making me feel like i'm 'too hard on my body' (as one massage therapist told me a year ago).

The interesting part was her trying to get my glutes to activate...at the beginning...not so much and by the end were firing. Now that they actually are being activated while exercising...lets just say after my 9 mile run on Sunday my butt is very sore. But glute activation is actually what I need long term to happen to counter this silly hip issues.

So i think i'm on a good path to both holding off this injury from becoming full blown before Vineman half...as well as figuring out what my body needs to be strengthened equally to be better functioning with less injury in the future.

please...just take my money...

So...awhile back I mentioned the whole "trying to buy a condo" thing...well that didn't work out so well previously...but I found a cute new place that does need some updating, but great price, love the location. Little itty bity glitch...sorta. LITERALLY half a block away from what is my default bike shop. Please...here is my pay check...just cash it. It will be less painful.

This is the shop where i bought my track bike...it's a fixie focused bike shop and the club I will race for when I start racing at the velodrome. (did I just say...when?)

Yes...actually...i did say when. And that when is not too far away actually. August = when. A second night of racing has started on Friday nights and they have added a women's category. And know what...if we could get all the women to show up at the same time...there might be a field of 10-20 women out there. How cool is that?

Funny thing about it...i SWORE up and down and to anyone who would listen that I would NEVER actually get out there and race...ever....ever...ever. (granted I don't think anyone believed me) I bought my track bike with the one intention of being able to ride the velodrome when I wanted to all winter and that was my only intention.Really...it was... Ride all winter take classes til...forever, but race? no way... So I bought just a basic entry level track bike...nothin fancy...just standard entry level beauty. And that is true...he is a beauty. sigh :-)

And my beauty just got an upgrade i CANNOT wait to try out. NEW CHAINRING!!!!! I just bought him a 50...I have a 48x15 geared up right now and typically ride with that...but I do have a flip flop hub and can run a 48x16 if I want to. So...going to gear up another 4 gear inches to a 50x15! YEA for leg strength. Only concern i have pushing a bigger gear is that reality that I have no 'jump' when we start. I'm pathetic on a smaller gearing until I can get up to speed so a bigger gear is just harder with getting a 'jump' at the beginning. Will have to see how it goes. More plyometrics?

I took the train to Disneyland! (and then...rode my bike home)

This weekend was the end of two pretty heavy training weeks with a culmination of me taking the train to Disneyland/Anaheim and then riding my bike back with Chris and another guy from the tri club. 81miles...longest bike ride ever for me and it.was.awesome. The day was perfect, overcast and not too windy. We all just kept saying: itsn't this such a great ride! Ok...at mile 70 i was hurting a bit, but it didn't matter and Chris somehow convinced me that I really should do that 2 mile brick that I really didn't want to do. But just 'something' to get the legs movin, nothing special.

If anything those two miles gave me huge confidence about Vineman 70.3...ran off those 80miles even with things hurting, into 9 and sub 9pace which is where i'm hoping to hit for my race. Very happy.

Told my family about my adventures only to hear: you are nuts. I'm used to hearing that now.

Unfortuantely since late last week the ol hip/psoas issues have been back. Not inducing actual hip pain or knee pain as it has in the past, but lots of tenderness and LOTS of massive trigger points on my belly and into my hip. Not fun especially when it is contracting and aching and it feels literally like I ate a rock.

Been trying to use some massage therapy to help it out...and today my massage therapist and I further continued to try to find the root cause of some of this. While the spasm was profoundly noticed after I fell in Nov 2007 I actually have believed for a long time I have some sort of functional leg length discrepency. My massage therapist noticed today that while standing, my injured side is shorter than the other even though my hips are aligned and in the same plane. PT's have noticed this as well as chiropractors, even though my legs hip joint to heel are the same length...MY question is: WHERE IS THE ROOT CAUSE OF THIS LENGTH DISCREPANCY??!!

So far...no one knows. It doesn't make sense (at least to me) and really my massage therapist just keeps giving me 'homework' every time I see him to try to help with the psoas. (like I don't have enough things to do?) Last time it was just to stretch out my QL region where you make the number 4 with your legs and reach for your toes. Ok...easy enough...this time? 1)I need to work on exhaling...um...what? 2)And I need to go to yoga. Of course a yoga teacher would tell me that, but I think he does have a point. ug...back to yoga...i do try to love it...but if I'm honest about it, I don't.

the track....sigh...

I do want to clarify from the last post...and in general...while riding at the velodrome for whatever physics related reason it is quite easy to go over 20mph. 30mph does start to get up there speedwise, but it still isn't *that* fast compared to other crazy speedsters out there...i've seen many a speedy sport hit well into the high 30s motorpaced and i'm sure some were going faster. It does feel pretty fast, but it's not like trying to go that speed on the road. It's not the same for whatever reason.

Sometimes I forget that riding the velodrome is a little on the 'fringe' side even for bike sports. Today I walked into a local bike shop here, that is more tri focused. But since I won that awesome 100 dollars the other week, i've got some money to burn there and I was trying to figure out what to spend it on.

I walk in the door and warned the guy that I had a bunch of questions and start with: Do you guys have chain rings? I'm looking for a 50...my track bike is set up with a 48x15 and I'd really like a bigger chain ring.

blink, blink, blink

Him: um...i'm not sure we carry just chain rings...we have crankset. In the end we found out that they do...but I did get stared out blankly for a bit...no 50 sadly. The conversation turned into Bla, bla, bla..how often do you ride the track??? This seemed to be quite the curiosity. Once again...i realized i tend to do weird things, apparently the velodrome is one of those weird things.

The point...oh yes...the point of the post (if there is one)...they have started another day of racing at the track that is for beginner racers/juniors/spinters and women. OYE...i want in! Yes please! No...i'm not actually going to start racing til after Vineman HIM...but i went tonight to help out and got to be the lap girl and the bell ringer girl (you ring a bell to notify racers of the last lap). Let's just say, i will be CHOMPING at the bit in Aug to race. Very excited and I know i'm going to get my butt kicked, but i'm still super excited.

FINALLY

Mr. Garmin FINALLY decided to register 30.0mph at the velodrome tonight. Granted, i was actually going 32mph off the back of a motorcycle...details, details. Chris pointed out that Mr. Garmin has issues at the velodrome because of the small circle situation. Mr. Garmin doesn't like going round and round. He gets confused with all the circle action. Suck it up Mr. Garmin. PUUUULEZE.

Did a 'preview' of the Vineman 70.3 bike course on a computrainer on Tuesday. OWCH. Lots of sitting on the trainer and it's kinda like riding a fixie for hours on end since you can't stop pedaling...but gave me a good idea of what the course would be like. Rolling-ish hills with two hills in at 25 and 45...but not too big of a deal. Overall the evening went well. I did practice my nutrition, but neglected to practice my actual pacing...um...HR a little on the higher side of things. Not sure I could have then run a full 13.1 miles after almost 3 hours in my Z4...details, details. Now I know better.

Gnarly week going well. I discovered that spending 5 bucks on what I call 'grandma' compression socks at CVS do actually work after a hard workout. Or at least my legs were much spring-ier than they would be for a tempo run after such a hard trainer session the day before.

And saturday...i'm riding my bike back from DISNEYLAND!! That's just fun to say :-) ohhhh yea, and 80 mile train ride. Take the train to Anaheim and then ride the bike back. Crazy...crazy.